So I recently read a question in The Champagne Room (which is an excellent page on Facebook by the way..very, Ahem, enlightening) about approaching a man if you find him attractive. Hmmm, after much thought on this subject I decided to share a little story. You know I always have a story!! lol
Recently I was made aware of a certain FYT (Fine Young Thang)that could be a potential Mr."Wright" for me. I was filled in a little on him and was told that he had also gotten some background info on me. After the "sales pitch" I realized he had a lot of the qualities that made him pretty damn attractive. 1. NO Baby Mama(s) 2. NO Wife or Ex-Wife or present Girlfriend
3. Damn Good Job 4. College Degree 5. WANTS KIDS (HELLO!!! LOL)....so I decided to make the first move and I sent a Friend Request on Facebook. I figure nothing too forward about that right? So he accepted me and then I waited and waited for something....a message..a poke...a chat box message...something...but nope I got nothing...lol So I thought now what? I mean DANG I did send the request sooooo...Should I just forget about it? and ATTEMPT not worry about it too much? Should I feel offended because he just might not be checking for me? or should I reach out and see what's up? I just don't want to seem forward you know...I mean I really prefered to BE pursued and not be the aggresor...just my up bringing I guess. I mean I know this is a new day and age but I just can't seem to bring myself to step out that far. Hmmm...(tapping fingers on my chin cause that's my DEEP THOUGHT pose)
Sooooo after much of that DEEP THOUGHT..somehow I let someone persuade me to send a little message...I mean really what could that hurt? So I sent a light comical extension of myself in the form of an inbox message. It took TWO...count them TWO whole days before I got the one liner that was replied...LOL So now I sit here wondering...how in the world can I get this FYT to understand that it would be in his best interest to Come and Talk to Me? I mean should I really have to work this hard? but to be perfectly honest, I find it a little attractive, I mean I have always liked a challenge..trouble is that I give up quick too...rejection does not sit well with me at ALL!!!
So my question today is:
Ladies: If it were you, how would you feel about approaching a man first?
Fellas: Do you sometimes wish that a woman would approach you first, or does that, in fact, make her seem too forward? Does she lose some of her swag points for that?
Give me some feedback.
14 comments:
Do to me being a pushy person, and wanting my friends to open up and step out on faith, I see nothing wrong with it. But since u haven't heard from the person, I wouldn't read to much into the situation. U never know what that person may have going on in their lives at this time. So, for me I would challenge myself once more and extend another olive branch to the possibility of opening up a conversation. Just my opinion though. So with the statement, yall can see that I have no problem approaching a man that I deem attractive, in order to start a conversation! lol!
Hmm, so I see Gina, but I do not think I could put myself out there again....REJECTION is a BIATCH!! LOL
I've been in that situation before so glad I'm not the only one. Sometimes we as women don't want to come across too aggressive but need to send seldom hints of our interest in him. maybe to open his eyes a little wider or turn his head slightly to the right a little bit more. Just our way of saying "hello...I'm right here"
I beleieve what the Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. I would not approach a guy unless I was lead to by God I have learned to trust and wait on him, he knows what I want, what I need in a man so I believe he will allow our paths to meet soon. If it were me and I sent the message and he replied and never replied again I would say it was not Gods will for us. He has something better for me. I just believe in waiting on God, Those who wait upon the lord shall prevail
Yes Terri, I hear you on that!! Hellooooooo PYT Over Here!! LOL but I play so cool....cause I just don't wanna lose my cool points with this one....so in this case...slow is definitely good...
@ Annoynmous...that is true...but I do believe that if you wait all good things will come to you...but on the other hand..sometimes I think a little Hello..doesn't hurt. :0)
This is important to note because it also applies to who leads the relationship, who “controls” and guides it. If the woman initiates a relationship with a man, she will always be at the helm. At what point does she give him control of the relationship? Why then? The answer is that she doesn’t. Who ever initiates control of the relation-ship, will have control for the duration of it's journey.There’s the Biblical side, which will say that the Bible doesn’t say anything like, “She that finds a husband finds a good thing.” And then there will be the independent side which says, “This is a different time that calls for different measures. If I want something, I’m gonna get it.”....I'm just saying
DANG good point!! I wish you were not Annonymous time stamp 5:05 cause I would love to know who really just dropped that deep thought on the Real Thoughts page!!!
There's nothing wrong at all about approaching a guy first, as long as you exercise discretion in your approach. By that I mean as long as you're not throwing yourself at the guy then very few guys will have a problem with being pursued. You'll find that many times the educated fellas can be the most CLUELESS fellas (excluding myself (^_-) So yeah, you may have to spell it out for him as in "HEY, FYT I REALLY DIG YOU...but you've got to weigh the pros of doing so and the potential rewards against the cons of letting it go and waiting to see what happens and potentially missing out on a good thing over an outdated technicality.
Hmmm..now that's some food for thought Stillman..outdated technicality....lol. true true true.....
Hey Realist I'm Annonymous time stamp 5:05...lol
Well alright Q!! Great feedback girl!
Realist, Morning,
Read "Act a woman think like a man" By Steve Harvey LOL
Todd
LOL @ Todd...I have read bits and pieces of that book...guess I need to dig a little deeper..lol
Post a Comment