I know there are times when I have so many self doubts that it seems like my pity party escalates into a full blown blowout. I have these moments often when one day I look in the mirror and see a beautiful young lady with a beautiful smile and “hottie” characteristics, but as soon as I stand in that dressing room and realize that those jeans that were so perfect on the mannequin are not so perfect on these hips of mine, I relapse into the great depression and the vicious cycle continues. Oh and don’t let me see a picture….one of those picture that I just KNEW was a cute pose until I see it and all my flaws seem to jump off the screen! Ugghh, it sends me for a loop every time, which is why I take tons of pictures from the neck up. LOL
Yesterday when I was discussing a certain person I thought was cute to my sister, she told me that she knew him very well and then went on to tell me that he was a great catch but in so many words (to my ears anyway) she went on to tell me that I was Pure Drama, and that I wasn’t going to measure up to the beauty of his ex-girlfriend. Ok so maybe she didn’t mean it that way, I am sure she didn’t (I probably was being dramatic!) but to these ears it was just enough to set off those bells of self-doubt. I mean I know for a fact that there are some things that I could work on….these rolls that keep miraculously forming, this acne that seems to want to pop up whenever I really want to go out (I blame it on the stress of the fitting room dilemma) and I have always, ALWAYS had a problem with my butt! Yes, I confess, when it came to the formation of my rear end, all the fat bypassed it and went to my thighs!
I must admit I have always wanted one of those butts that make a man shout; a big old ignorant butt that can knock stuff off of tables…(ok ok, maybe not that big! LOL) but something that at least held my jeans up! Mine always seems to lead to one question… “You sure you black?” (especially from my ex husband, which is one of the reasons why he became an EX! LOL) so those implants that they keep saying Nikki Minaj has are sounding better and better every minute….but I digress….
The true reason for me writing this morning is just to ask “How often do you wish that something about you were different?” I mean people wish for many things which is why the topic of this post popped into my head. “I wish I was a little bit taller” I cannot remember the name of the guy that sung this song but he wished for a lot of things that he knew just wouldn’t come true. So I figure why waste my time WISHING when I can learn to accept what I was given and work on the things that I am not so happy about? So that’s my goal for 2011, to stop wishing and to make things happen. I may not ever get down to fashion model size, but to be quite REAL I have come to love most of these curves so I can’t nix them altogether…. I will keep some in the right places for sure and who knows I might even get a little sumthin sumthin growing in the back (AYE IT’S POSSIBLE!!).
Point of my ramble today: Be happy with what you have because when you think about it, it could have been a lot worse! No matter what you are beautiful just the way you are…only change because YOU want to…not because someone said you should.
12 comments:
@ E, True, true!!
Oh, the song is I wish By Skee Lo.
Thanks Tray! I just figured this morning I would expose a little of my insecurities..I want people to know that when I say I will keep it "Real" that I mean that all the way live! I'm human...
You are so right the start of true happiness is being confident from within love it girlfriend
where the poems @ , and u definitely needed the space to post, and that should be a song "i wish i had a bigger booty" :)
Thank You for sharing!! I read about myself just now and I realized that I am not alone (especially about the no butt issue lol). I love all of me but a lil tweek here n there wouldn't hurt.
@ Charlie...hahaha...I like that song title! but really in the end it is not about what we do and don't have or how people may view you..but how you feel about yourself...that's all that counts!
@ Terri I am sure at one point we can all relate to this problem..be it the "booty" issue or just things in general. The true nature of this topic is that the "wish" syndrome really doesn't do any good. It is imporant that YOU like yourself...I pretty much say bump anyone else. I chose to share my insecurities in hopes that anyone reading could relate and take a deeper look at any of their situations. Thanks so much for the feedback! "I am Not my Booty!!!" LOL
Great Start Ericka. I like it. I tried to post a comment earlier today and I typed out everything, but I couldn't remember my password so it wouldn't send. I was busy then and now I forgot what I said. I just wanted you to know that I did read and this is a great start. Happy New Year
Ladies, you could have a butt like Buffie the Body and boobs like Serena Williams all that is good to look at, but a real man wants a woman that has personality not all that outward aspect. MJ song, The man the mirror make a change in you, Once in bed, the light out big butt big boobs and a ghetto sistas. Hello
Ms. Ericka, when I say, that I truly understand ur statement, I do. I don't have a problem with my butt or thighs in general. It is just the dimples that I always prayed for. The obvious problem with that wish was, I failed to specify which cheeks I wanted them in!! lol! So I am sure that statements warrants no other comment. But beside that, I do love me regardless of my flaws. I look at it this way. U have to be very special for me to share them with u. So self love is the most important thing anyway and I wish for the all of my sistas to embrace ur flaws and all. Bc if they really care about u, it won't matter in the end anyway!
Thanks Kim!! This was a water tester expect bigger and better and always The Real!
@ Todd you are so right which is why I say in the end...Love who you are flaws and all!
@ Gina...I can identify with the misplacements for sure! Thanks for tuning in and for the support I am getting ready to bring it in 2011!! Watch out now!
And please share it if you like it.
One love, The Realist
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